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Chapter 3.5 "The Cat Who Tried to Kill Me" 
When I arrived home I set up the couch so I could plant myself there for the next four days. I was super nervous about the incision on my neck as you can imagine. I was scared that if I moved my head slightly the wrong way or breathed too heavily it would burst open. So I moved around v-e-r-y g-i-n-g-e-r-l-y, making NO sudden movements or gestures. I laid down on the couch just like I parrallel park, with painstakingly tiny movements back and forth to get just the right position. After about 20 minutes of adjusting and positioning, I had myself perfectly parked on the couch-- back flat, head at a perfect 90 degree angle looking straight up, not daring to turn it lest I disturb the slit that ran straight across my throat. All was still Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse..when suddenly the cat charged in like his ass was on fire! Before I could say Meow Mix he was ON MY NECK, claws and all. He pushed off from my jugular to jump to the back of the couch. I screamed and cried in pain and fear. Not too much mind you because I was still nervous that I would somehow burst my seams. Of course, it didn't occur to me then, but really, if a 20lb cat didn't do it, I'm sure moving my head a quarter of an inch would have been ok. |